Jennie only attended athletic leadership camp for me, because I was going and already knew where I would sleep -- director's cabin -- because every summer for years I'd been to that campground and had always wanted

to kiss on that director's cot, beside craft lodge, on the way to vesper hill

... I said I would sleep there with her.

It's grade 10. Besides being in love with my grade 11 girlfriend Jennie, I am also in love with my gymnastics coach Ms. Lipton. It's an exaggeration to say Jennie attended because of jealousy, wild passion... but this is what I like to believe and in my head I imagine a desperate love triangleplaying itself out in the dining hall
the steps to archery pit,
on the sand underneath the buddy board...

Jennie probably thinks only of her hand under my shirt at campfire song time and three nights away from her mother but I long for the added dimension of Ms. Lipton watching us, catching my eye and the s l o w movements of Jennie's fingers.

At night, here, in my baby doll nightie(some of the other athletic leadership camp delegates look on disapprovingly, I think) here in my baby doll nightie, zipping our two sleeping bags -- Jennie's and mine-- together I at look Christine, who is staying in director's cabin with us, look her in the eye and say "it gets so cold" and I *dare* her to say something about the two small cots pulled together like that, the twining of our sleeping bags, because she's a dyke -- I know it -- but she won't do anything about it -- can't -- frozen.

She watches me get into bed. Watches Jennie.

Close the lights.

On the walls a hundred girls running, all of my summers, backrubs, showers, rubbing up against each other and crushes at vesper's, ghosts of ten summers and here -- really -- Jennie's hand on my hips, gentle noises, grabbing her hair. We try not to move too much, too loudly, because we don't want Christine to wake up and catch us... at least that's what I say, but really, I don't mind.

I am obvious. Indiscrete. Christine, Ms. Lipton... I like it when the sex Jennie and I have is crowded... want to be seen.

And Jennie? She only attended camp for me.