Summer of ’76 covered in baby oil, a bit of bikini, wet cotton swabs over my closed eyelids. Like I really believe I’ll burn my eyelids.  If it were up to me, they’d be slathered in baby oil, too. 

Later an ‘Allo Police’ cover would feature a recreation of some crime scene – a child’s face with two blood-soaked pieces of cotton instead of eyes. The later me asks, if I’d seen myself then, would I have thought ‘Allo Police’ rather than cute pre-teen in bikini?

I practice becoming cute. But come on – wet cotton pads on my eyes? A bikini? I spend most mornings at the gym rehearsing bar routines.  My hips are purple from bruising. I have a bad sunburn and big arms, strong, not able to be slender.