The Journals & Notebook of
 Nathan Bangs 1805-1806, 1817


Contents    Introduction    Maps    Images    Chronology    Bibliography    Archival Resources

Editorial Annotations

Unfortunately the lower portion of the ms. is chipped and torn along the fore-edge corner resulting in some loss of text. This entry under-scores the degree to which Bangs continued to live in fear of losing his salvation. It is striking that his spiritual concerns entirely eclipse the fact that his wedding took place only the day before on Sunday April 27th. In this he followed closely in Wesley's own footprints whose voluminous journal is silent concerning the event of his own wedding (though not quite as silent on the subsequent events of his profoundly unhappy marriage).

Archival finding aids suggest that this entry belongs to the month of March. Although Bangs often miscalculated the day of the month by one or two, March 28th 1806 fell on a Friday (as far from a Monday as it is possible to fall) while April 28th 1806 actually fell on a Monday. In view of this it seems more likely that this final entry was made in April rather than in March.


Monday 28 [April 1806]

Last Monday I gave way to an evil desire which wounded my confidence and the sense of guilt made me cry mightily to God forgiveness, and I believe God has caused his face to shine upon me again [cf. Num 6.24-26]. Thanks to his holy Name for it. It seems sometimes a tho [the] Devil would yet plunge me into hell together with [the] help of my own heart, but yet I entertain a hope of Deliverance through Jesus Christ my Lord. God help fo[r] Christ's sake. I know that it is my one desire to devo[te] my every hour to his blessed service. How necessary is [ms. torn] to keep up a continual watchfulness in order to sta[nd] against our besetments. If the Lord did [ms. torn] me about with a Chain of his [ms. torn] soon become a prey to my adversary.

17 March 1806


Primary Sources






Edited by Scott McLaren
Book History Practicum
University of Toronto