The Plunge into the Air of Canada: Adjusting to life as an International Student

That flashback bubble played the highlights of past year, from boarding the plane to Canada to the present. It felt like I was watching a long documentary of my own struggles. The day I boarded the flight marked the start of an odyssey loaded with obstacles that would mold and alter me. I landed here in the fall, when the weather is unpredictable and unwelcoming to newcomers—a dramatic contrast to the constant warmth and comfort of home. As a tenderfoot in Canada with no one nearby to offer you a hand, I constantly got lost in transit and in York University's mazes. Navigating my way to the right destination without getting lost was an adventure in and of itself. I wished there were a GPS that would figure out the ways to solve a newcomer’s problems in a totally strange country!

All these highlights of my struggles fast forwarded to an utterly bad night when my sleep faded away as the overthinking engulfed my brain. The tears gushed out and with my trembling fingers I somehow managed to video call my parents. My tears screamed “I desperately want to teleport back to India!” Since childhood I have been suppressing the messy side of myself deep in my soul. Instead, everyone including my parents knew the side that I wanted them to see and know—the ‘Strong Me.’ I guess the ‘Suppressed Me’ wanted to breathe freely that night, which is why it possessed the other me and made the eyes cry for all those moments that I had been holding for eighteen years. I just cried and cried and cried and stayed muted. Looking at my crying face, they said their words of faith, “Our belief in you is much more than you have in yourself!” This dialogue relaxed a percent of my panic attack and I inhaled a deep breath. I somehow found the courage to convert my messy thoughts into words and speak to them. I expressed to my parents about how I truly felt for the first time in my entire life.

With my shaking voice I asked them, “Mom… Dad… Did I take the right decision in coming to Canada?” I asked this question to them because I had often been asked, “Why you have taken English and Professional Writing Program? It won’t do you any good! You will RUIN your career. There is NO FUTURE in it…” Because I had already been struggling in transitioning from rigorous learning and memorization to a dynamic and interactive educational environment, these questions had shaken my self-esteem. I told my parents, “I am battling to keep up with a mountain of readings and assignments. I spend several evenings a week at the Scott Library, fatigued, and doubting the decision I made to shape my future in Canada. Every day I have just one meal and wish for home-cooked meals prepared by you, Mom. The sense of being alone, without the customary support network of family and friends… I just want to give up everything and come back to both of you.” Homesickness would come in waves, and I'd often find myself in tears at the sight of a family photo. “I miss you Mom and Dad. I miss the feeling of being at home,” I said while sobbing.

“Stop crying Dipan, everything will fall back into its right place,” said my mother. Except the sound of me sobbing endlessly, it was pin drop silence for five minutes. Then my Dad’s calm, steady voice pierced through the silence. To bring my self-esteem back to my soul, he rendered lines from the poem “Life” written by Henry Van Dyke in 1904, one of my favourite poets:

He proceeded to explain the underlying meaning of Van Dyke's poetry, waving his hands expressively as he talked. "Dyke expresses a wish to face every year with a forward-thinking and eager attitude," he continued, his voice firm and soothing. "He wants to experience both happiness and tragedy without dwelling on the past or fearing the future. He aims to maintain a positive attitude and approach life with optimism and enjoyment." With each word, his tone became more motivating, and his emotions were filled with warmth and passion. It seemed as if he was channeling his own power into me, encouraging me to acquire the resilience and positivity required to conquer my obstacles.

After such a brilliant and moving rendering, I unearthed a resilience within me that I never knew existed. This journey was not simply about transitioning to a new nation, but also battling and conquering deeply rooted cultural conventions and personal fears. My father’s explanation made me realize that giving up was not an option. That night I decided to trust in myself and my odyssey. I began to look at the challenges as the opportunities for growth. I stopped hesitating to ask for help from my family and professors. I made a strong bond with two Gujarati girls who are now more like my sisters, supporting each other through shared struggles. My lecturers recognized my drive and provided guidance along with encouragement, assisting me in closing the learning gap. I ventured into Greater Toronto Area with increased confidence, finding its beauty and liveliness. The weather no longer felt so terrible, and loneliness faded as I made contacts and found my ‘second home’ here.

Reflecting on my odyssey a year later, I realized how far I had come from the typical Indian middle-class family values that once constrained me. There is a stigma of not letting girls go out of their own home alone, let alone sending them to a foreign nation. Yet, my BIG FUTURE DREAMS outweighed all the past societal stereotypes. My parents were the biggest supporters of my decisions and ambitions. Their words, “Our belief in you is much more than you have in yourself” always gave me toughness; their faith drove me ahead.

With each chuski of chai in my backyard represents not just comfort, but triumph over hardship, supporting my confidence in perseverance and progress. I realized; it was the feeling of success after moving to Canada that had become my second home. The path had been difficult, with times of uncertainty and anxiety, but I came out stronger. I learnt to believe in myself and the process. The previous year provided me with almost overwhelming problems, but it was by conquering them that I discovered my actual potential. Shifting to a different nation in my teenage phase taught me that the borders we see are sometimes self-created. With bravery, faith, and drive, we can triumph over the most difficult challenges and realize our aspirations.