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Editorial Annotations |
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Bangs is
continually preoccupied with avoiding the "great
transgression," a reference to Psalm 19.13, and possibly a
reference to the "unforgivable" sin against the Holy
Spirit described in the New Testament. Although this is
another very private entry clearly never intended for
publication, Bangs is not explicit about what might have
constituted,
for him, that "great transgression." |
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Monday Sep 6 [Monday 9 September 1805]
I never laboured under greater
embarrassments of mind than yesterday. At both appointments
it seemed the cloud of heaviness was impinatrible
[impenetrable] but in the
evening the cloud dispersed and God showed that he could
answer prayer, but it was in a still small voice, but tho
small it was sweet and welcome, blessed be God [cf.
1
Kg 19.11-13]. My soul feels devoted to God at present, but I
find powerful besetments at times, but God deals with me as
a tender Father with his Son. When I want encouraging he
does it by some means and when I want humbling he brings it
to pass; and I find fresh matter to praise him for every
moment tho I cannot praise him as perfectly as I would, yet
I do as I can. O my Heavenly Father do thou take me into a
secured nearness to thyself that I may be kept pure from the
great transgression [Ps
19.13; cf.
Lk 12.10;
Mt 12.31-2]. I cannot but believe that in resolutely
resisting the first motion of a temptation which hath often
troubled me, I received power against it and it hath not
troubled me since. O that I might always observe this method.
O Lord help me to resist steadfast in the faith through
Jesus Christ.
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Primary Sources |
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Terms |
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want: To be in need of
something (as opposed to simply desiring it). |
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